An Ending Is A Fresh Beginning
by Amythest Girl
Summary: What if Blair didn't return to the UES after the summer in Paris? What if she decided to live her life else where? And what could possibly bring back some people from her past after 4 years? PLEASE BE AWARE OF SOME INFREQUENT BUT STRONG COARSE LANGUAGE
1. Chapter 1

_Hi All,_

_So this is my second Gossip Girl piece of writing! I sat down and wrote it all in one go. It may need an epilogue though, I haven't quite decided yet._

_Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl (cause if I did I sure as hell wouldn't have had Chuck sleep with Jenny and then get shot!)_

_Please be aware of some **coarse language**, it is infrequent but please be alerted it is there.  
_

* * *

It had been years since she'd been back. That summer in Paris made her realise she never wanted to return to the catastrophe of her life back in New York. She didn't tell Serena she wouldn't be returning, she simply told her she was going to her father's chateau for a while. She'd be back before the start of the semester. Of course she wasn't. That was 4 years ago now. Sure, she wanted to go back and make sure he was ok after being shot. But she couldn't bear it, to see his face in pain. Staying away was better.

It wasn't until 3 months ago she started wondering if she'd made the right choice. Serena was getting married; to Carter Baizen. Shocking really, but they were in love. Anybody that talked to either of them could sense that. She wasn't involved in the wedding. Serena had sent her an invitation, but Jenny Humphrey was Matron of Honour. Unbelievable. She'd been replaced by Jenny in more ways than one.

Living in Italy had its advantages. For starters, nobody would ever consider coming to look for Blair Waldorf in Italy. France, is the first stop, even England would come before Italy. It made her feel oddly close to him. The first trip he'd ever let her down on was to Italy. Thank goodness for her basic knowledge of the Italian language. She was now finished with College, and moving on to Law school, at Oxford. Packing up her life that had been in Italy, and moving to England. It was quite exciting actually. She just wished she could share it with someone.

She hears her phone ring from behind her, and turns to answer it.

"Hi S" Blair says into the phone.

"Hey B! I wanted to know if you were coming for the wedding! We'd love to have you!" Serena said excitedly into the phone.

"I'm sorry S, I can't make it, I'm moving at the moment, and I have to pick up my keys on the day of your wedding. I'll send you a gift though!" Blair says with false excitement and dismay into the phone. She really doesn't have to pick her keys up that day. She just doesn't want to face him.

"Chuck won't bother you Blair. Please come! I can't get married without my best friend there" S pleads.

"You don't need me there S, you've got little Jenny Humphrey to replace me. It's what she does best" Blair snarks into the phone, whilst she closes it shut, ending the conversation.

It really wasn't just him Blair didn't want to see. Jenny Humphrey; the slut of Brooklyn. Strange to think that she was now almost 20 and yet still racoon eyed. It was shocking; Blair was turning 24 in the coming year. As was everyone else, Nate, Serena, him.

She couldn't bare say his name. It hurt too much. Blair always believed that the pain would subside over the years. The pain he cased her, in more ways than anyone could ever imagine. The pain of loosing him to Jenny, the pain of knowing he had been shot and there was nothing she could do about it, and the pain of loosing his child, while nobody was around.

The miscarriage had about destroyed her. Serena didn't even know. Which Blair found surprising since they'd been in Paris for 2 weeks at that stage. Serena didn't notice the pain she was in, her constant trips to the bathroom; or the fact that she sent Serena out sight seeing on her own so Blair could make trips to the doctors.

She closes her eyes and stares up at the roof. How did she get to this place? How did she get to the place where she could not even utter his name! This wasn't her. She was stronger than this! She had knowledge, which meant she had power. She was going to be a lawyer for goodness sakes! Shaking her head she turns back to her bedroom to continue packing.

* * *

_A/N:_

_Well that's the first chapter. What do you think?_

_So you are aware, all chapters have been uploaded I will just need to post them when I get the chance. I should be once weekly, with a high possibility of more :D  
_


	2. Chapter 2

_Hey Guys!_

_Thanks for the great support for this new story :)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl!  
_

* * *

_One Month Later_

Blair had given up on packing everything herself. What was she thinking? She packed all her personal and fragile items, and then hired packers to pack the rest of the stuff. Serena had been ringing her constantly since there conversation a month ago, Blair ignored every call.

She was currently mid flight on her way to London; trying to relax while sipping on her Gin Martini. Flying always unsettled her; all possible scenarios entered her head. Closing her eyes she tried to think of what her life would be if that last spring in New York hadn't gone the way it had. She could be in the UES taking care of her child, she always pictured the child as a little girl with her brown curls and his almond shaped chocolate eyes; her smile and his smirk; the perfect mixture of the both of them.

It was useless to picture, it would never be her life. She turns to look out the window, only to see clouds below her. Serena and Carter were to be married today. She was sure she would hear all about it, the flowers, the cake, the dress, the music, and the speeches, how drunk the guests were. All of it, and how she wished she could be there to witness it all herself, but it wasn't an option. She couldn't possible be there when he and his whore were going to be there, even if she was Nate's whore now. Even though little Jenny Humphrey only got her claws into him once, it was enough to have her classed as his whore for the rest of her social life. Blair should know she had it done as soon as she heard the little Humphrey had taken her first steps on New York soil. Blair might not have been there herself, but she had warned her never to return.

"Passengers, this is your captain speaking, we are about to land in London, please have your seats and trays returned to the upright position and please buckle your seat belts, thank you for travelling with British Airways"

Blair sighs and returns her tray upright and buckles her seat belt. Landing she can handle, taking off, not so much. The decent begins and Blair takes a large breath in and closes her eyes. London here she comes.

_One Week Later_

There is a knock at the front door. Blair turns her head quizzically towards the door. Nobody except family knows she has moved out of Italy to England. The others simply think she has moved to another apartment within Rome. Perhaps it is just one of those door to door salesmen. Blair walks over to the door and opens it with a gasp.

"You are a hard woman to track down Waldorf" Blair turns and freezes at the sound of her name coming from his lips.

"Perhaps because I didn't want to be found Bass, did you ever think of that? Or does it always have to be your way?" She replies with a viper tongue.

"My dear sister was quite upset you skipped her wedding. She wanted you there desperately, even made me promise that if you turned up I would not speak a word to you" He says with a smirk on his face.

"Yes well. As you can see I have been quite busy with the move. Moving from Italy to England is not exactly stress free! As you can well see if you so much as look around you" Blair quips back.

"No need to be snarky Blair, I simply came to check on your wellbeing, I can only assume that you would only skip your best friends wedding if you were sick. But after seeing this, I have only reason to assume that you were not in attendance because of me" Chuck says as he walks through her apartment and places himself on her couch.

"As I told S, I had to accept the keys the day of her wedding, I had no choice but to mi…"

"That is a load of bullshit and you and I both know it Blair! Don't feed me your lies. I know they are lies because your eyes are doing that thing where they don't match with your mouth" He glares at her sternly.

"Well if you know everything, why come here for answers?"

"Because I wanted to know if you truly hated me so much that you would miss your best friends wedding. Clearly I was correct" He says standing up.

"You don't know everything Bass. But you are right about some things. I did skip the wedding because you and that little whore from Brooklyn would be there, but you both are not my only reasons for not attending." She says while stalking off towards the kitchen.

He follows her disputing her argument but he stops short. She turns to see what stopped him, she gasps in shock. He snaps his head up to look at her, his eyes full of hate and shock.

"What is this Blair? Because to me it looks like an ultrasound, but as you said, I'm not always right, so please, no tell me I am wrong" He speaks slowly and stares at her intensely.

She looks towards the picture he is holding. The only picture she has of their baby, the ultrasound taken a week before her miscarriage. She turns back around and walks back into the kitchen.

"Blair answer me gosh darn it! Is this what I fucking think it is? Were you fucking pregnant when you left New York?" He shouts at her angrily.

She turns back to him with tear filled eyes; she slowly nods her head in reply to his questions. She quickly covers her face with her hands and slides down the cabinets to the kitchen floor. He quickly comes around the bench and faces her.

"Why wouldn't you tell me that? I have a right to know my child Blair! Where is it?" He starts looking around the kitchen as if to find clues to the child's whereabouts.

"I don't have it" Blair whispers

"What do you mean you don't have it? You gave it up for adoption? Because I know you Blair and I know you wouldn't have an abortion. You gave up our child!" He snaps angrily at her.

"No, no I didn't give it up for adoption. And you're right; I didn't have an abortion either. I wasn't given the choice." She replies softly with her eyes glued to the floor.

"What are you talking about Blair?" Chuck shakes his head in confusion, and quickly tugs and runs his fingers through his hair.

"Look around this apartment Chuck! Does it look like a child lives here? Does it look like I've ever had a child live with me?" Blair stands up angrily walking towards him.

"I don't understand Blair, if you didn't give it up for adoption, and you didn't have an abortion…Blair…" He looks up at her with wide eyes, as if he has worked out the answer; he slowly walks the distance between them.

"Blair, did you…did you loo…did you loose the child?" He asks her whilst reaching his hand out to her shoulder. She shrugs away from his touch before he reached her.

"Yes" Blair replies firmly while looking him straight in the eye.

She walks out of the kitchen and to the bar and pours herself a glass of Vodka and Tonic, then walks her self over to the seat by the window. She senses he followed her into the room.

"You know the funny thing. I found out that I was pregnant the same day that you got shot." She laughs quietly to herself.

He just looks at her in shock. She turns to face him and looks at his face. He looks as if he can't wrap his mind around it, as if his whole world just got pulled out from underneath him.

"How did I not know Blair? Did you have Serena keep this from me?" He asks confused whilst sitting down opposite her.

"No. Serena doesn't know; you know what she is like. Oblivious to the world around her, wasn't even suspicious when I started telling her to go out sight-seeing on her own. The only people that know are Daddy and Roman, my mother and Cyrus do not even know. And I'd like to keep it that way." She turns her head back to look out the window.

"Of Course Blair…I…I'm just…I can't…" He slowly stands up places the picture of the ultrasound on the coffee table and walks towards the door.

Hand on the handle he stops and turns slightly, but shakes his head and opens the door and walks out, as Blair lets the tears roll down her cheeks.

* * *

_A/N:_

_This will probably be the last update for a week. It's the start of semester break, and I'm going away for a couple of days._

_The next chapter is the last one i've written...it may need an epilogue...you guy's will have to help out with that decision once we get there :D_

_thanks again!  
_


	3. Chapter 3

_Well, this is the last chapter i've written, so I need to know if you guy's want and epilogue or not..._

_let me know :)_

_Also, to the question that was asked of how Chuck knew that the ultrasound was from those years ago, the pictures of ultrasounds have dates, times and names on them. So if he read that, it would be easy to assume or know when the ultrasound had been taken :)  
_

* * *

_2 Weeks Later_

Blair hadn't heard from him since that day he came to visit. She had heard from Serena, who was having the time of her life on the Private Island that Carter hired for their Honeymoon. Blair was lying on the couch staring up at the ceiling in her lounging outfit. She was actually shocked that she hadn't heard from him, she had expected him to come back the next day, or in the next days to ask more questions but he never had. Not even a phone call. For all she knew he was back in New York sleeping with which ever woman turned her head in his direction.

She sighs and slowly sits up from her position on the couch. In her mind, it made sense. He was Chuck Bass after all, comes and goes as often as he wants or needs. She has no time to think of these things, if he doesn't want to know what happened then so be it. It was not her concern how his mind worked, never was.

She gets up off the couch and walks into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of orange juice, slowly sipping away at it. School starts next month, she has already bought all her books and stationary needed for the class, she also treated herself to an upgrade of her MacBook, it's not as if she couldn't afford it.

There is a knock at the door, much like the knock from last time. She looks down at herself and then back to the door with her nose scrunched up. She is definitely not dressed for company.

"Blair, it's me, please open the door" She hears him call from outside the door.

She places her glass down quietly on the bench, and walks on her tip toes back towards her bedroom.

"Blair, I know you're in there. The doorman said you hadn't left today." He says she can just hear the smirk that is on his face.

"Shit" she whispers to herself.

She sighs to herself, there is no use refusing his entry, he will just stand there until she opens the door, and she doesn't want complaints from the other residents. But she was going to have serious words with that doorman, he was definitely no Vanya. She walks over to the door and opens it, with one eyebrow quirked.

"Well don't you just look amazing" He says with the smirk on his face as he walks past her while she shuts the door.

"Bite me Bass" she replies sharply.

"Maybe later. Onto the more serious note of my visit; I came to bring you back to New York" He turns around and stares at her.

"Excuse me? I am not going anywhere with you! I start school in one month. Law School! At Oxford! I am setting up a new life here in London, hopefully one that will replicate the one I had in Rome. I am happy in Europe Chuck. Happier than I have been in many years" Blair walks past him and into the kitchen to sip her orange juice.

"I'm aware of this Blair, but you need to come back with me. You can go to Cambridge for Law School, or Yale! Please Blair, come back with me" Chuck begins to plead with her. She stares at him quizzically.

"Why?" she says whilst taking another sip of orange juice.

"Why? Because you can have the life you left back. You can have Dorota, limos, a cleaning service! Instead of having to clean, cook and drive yourself everywhere." He says to her walking close to her.

"I enjoy my new life Chuck. It has shown me how to be my own person. If I ever choose to return to New York, it will be on my own terms, not because I am being forced into it" She states harshly whilst staring him down.

"Blair, I have missed you, so much. I still love you. I still want to be with you. Don't you think we have a chance?" He pleads with her.

"Chuck…as much as I miss you, as much as I still love you, and as much as I still want to be with you, I think if we ever have any future chance, you have to let me live my life the way I want to live it. That means going to school here in London, it means me living here in London til at least the end of my schooling." Blair says to him whilst turning to put the glass into the sink.

"I can move the head office to London Blair. I can make all major workings of Bass Industries from out of London."

"No you can't. You need to be in the U.S. so you can scout building, so you can keep an eye on your properties and your projects. As much as you think that is a great idea, you are not thinking rationally." Blair replies to his statement factually.

"I have to try Blair."

"Why? Why do you have to try? I haven't heard or seen you in 4 years Bass. What makes you think that we could just start again? Nothing I said to you 2 weeks ago makes this decision…logical. You might still love me, and I might still love you; but that does not mean that we are good together." She turns to walk past him but he blocks her path.

"Why? I have to try because I hurt you badly. I hurt you when I slept with Jenny Humphrey. I know that. I hurt you when I got shot. I hurt you when you had the miscarriage, granted those last two things I didn't do directly to you, but I still hurt you. I can't stand that Blair" He says turning around and walking to the couch and putting his head in his hands.

She slowly walks over next to him and sits down, rubbing his back soothingly.

"That may be true Chuck. In fact, it is very true. But neither of our lives should have to stop simply for us to get back together. If we ever do get back together, it should be on our own terms, when it is reasonable for both of us. Neither one of us should have to make such grand sacrifices to make our relationship work. One of us would grow to hate the other." She explained to him softly. Chuck nods his head.

"I know, I know, you are right. I just couldn't bare the thought of loosing you again Blair. I can't loose you again." He looks up at her with pleading eyes.

She softly kisses his lips. I quick kiss, but it explains everything she could never say aloud. He looks at her with understanding.

"I'm flying back to New York tomorrow." He says to her softly.

"Ok. Keep in touch with me ok? Let me know you are safe, and not getting shot." She smiles slightly at him.

"As long as you do the same" he replies with the same wit.

"I promise, now go. I do in fact have stuff I need to do today" She says pushing against his back.

They walk towards the door and stop just short and look into each others eyes again. He slowly leans down to her and kisses her softly with such a passion and spark she hasn't felt since the last time they truly kissed 4 years ago. When they break apart they continue to stare into each others eyes until he opens the door and whispers see you later.

She turns around and leans back against the door. She can't help but feel that this may just be her and Chuck's new beginning.

* * *

_A/N:_

_I don't know about you, but I feel that it needs an epilogue. Just not sure what to do for one. If you guy's have any ideas let me know.  
_


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